changes

For some weeks now I have been running less. Before, running was a part of my routine. I am not sure how and why but somehow running feels less appealing, all I want to do now is walk. Sometimes I think that the change has something to do with all the other changes in my life. I always liked running but sometime in the past two years it became a physical expression of how I felt; I wanted to escape where I was and what I was doing. Now though I want to walk slowly, stroll, enjoy the view, breath in the fresh air.
And it's Earth Hour in New York. 

got it all wrong!

I sometimes feel with my head. That's when I "analyze" feelings, and based on that I build a future model with various scenarios that are more or less likely to happen. A true fortune teller but with real arguments. Usually, if my head is the one feeling in matters of relationships, it gets me scared because my head knows just how much can go wrong when feelings reach the realm of the beautiful and sweet emotional states. On the other hand, the heart not only forgives but it also forgets.  So there you are...accelerating with your foot on the brake.

looking for the secret

I have been having this thought lately. I must admit that I enjoy my life as it has been for the past few months. I would not say it was sheer happiness but simply having more flexibility and freedom as to how to spend my time, seems to fuel me with that kind of peace that makes days enjoyable. It's being able to sleep without knowing that in the morning I HAVE TO go somewhere but just wake up and then decide what to do. It's reading 10 pages today, none tomorrow, switching books the day after. It's freedom I guess.

Can that exist while having a job? Can any job allow people to feel free? I wonder and part of me dreads it's a dream; the same part dreads finding a job and giving up this freedom. Am I getting spoiled or am I simply missing something to fully and clearly understand what role does a job play in our lives? Could it also be that I am still living with traumas of my past job?

I don't know... All I know is that perhaps working or not is a choice that comes with advantages and disadvantages. Just like everything else in life...you get as informed as you can, you try to get to know yourself as well as you can, and then you hope you choose right... the right job, the right partner, the right apartment, the right car, the right thing to do in the next hour...